10 Reasons Why Engineers Make Good Husbands
People love to stereotype and over the years I have suffered the derision that all engineers receive. Everybody hears the usual put downs about how engineers are geeky, no personality, pathologically shy and awkward, only interested in technical things, etc. etc.
So here is my effort to cut through all that crap and educate you women as to why an engineer is a prime candidate for marriage. Pay attention.
1. We can fix stuff. When something breaks or gets out of whack, we intuitively know how to fix it without making things worse. We even notice things that are candidates for getting broken and apply preventative measures before something happens. This often occurs without you even knowing it, thus keeping things around the house working smoothly 99% of the time.
2. We can assemble IKEA furniture, actually anything that requires assembly and usually without the instructions. This, together with item #1 can save you hundreds of thousands of dollars and a great deal of frustration over a lifetime.
3. We will be adored by your mom and dad. They are interested in grandkids and have seen too many of their friends children get divorced. They know that we will be there for the duration.
4. You don’t have to worry about us being unfaithful. There are two reasons for this. First, we don’t tend to attract the attention of other females due to our shy, sometimes quirky personalities (or lack thereof). Second, we are so thankful that we have a life partner that we wouldn’t even think of risking that. We constantly remind ourselves that if we split up, you would quickly find someone else and we would be sitting at home eating pizza wishing we hadn’t screwed up a good thing. Also, we hate the idea of you getting half of our tools and gadgets.
5. We are good in the bedroom. This may surprise you since it is in direct opposition to the engineer stereotype and may not be obvious to impressionable young women who fantasize about Antonio Banderas or Gilles Marini or the mythical guy in Calvin Klein ads. The reality is we consider your pleasure to be our reward and take great pride in our ability to keep you happy. In summary, we try harder.
6. We will be honest with you. This is not simply because we don’t have adequate social skills to lie convincingly (unlike lawyers or salesmen). Rather it is because we always have a well thought out reason for everything we do and we rarely do anything without first weighing the pros and cons.
7. Your computer will keep working. You will also have your own website if you want one.
8. We will help around the house. This is partly because we genuinely feel like it should be a shared responsibility, but mainly because we have convinced ourselves that we can do things more efficiently than you can, and we like to prove it to ourselves on a regular basis. That last rationale is something we keep to ourselves.
9. We can change a light bulb, set up a home network, program the coffee maker, design and build a sprinkler system, build a doghouse, put together a storage shed, hook up the electrical on a U Haul trailer, follow a recipe, change a diaper, build furniture, lay tile, rewire the bathroom, cover the house with Christmas lights without starting a fire, organize a camping trip, help the kids with their homework, mix a martini, plumb a Jacuzzi, fix the lawnmower and bring you coffee in the morning.
10. You don’t need any more reasons. If you were an engineer you would know that I already listed 28 reasons. Send this to all your girlfriends and tell them to wake up and smell the coffee.
Footnote: My apologies to female engineers. I know that female engineers have all the same strengths outlined above and I suppose I could have written this gender neutral, but you ladies don’t need any help in this department. You can have power over both men and machines and will someday rule the world.
via Technology ≠ The Simple Life: 10 Reasons Why Engineers Make Good Husbands.
